The Right Decision Doesn't Always Feel Right

The right decision would always feel peaceful and just right, well this is a lie. I thought that if I finally chose what was best for myself that I'd instantly feel good. The overthinking would stop and doubts would just disappear. Everything would simply just click into place. I was wrong, life is so much more complicated and our emotions are what drives us. Often we question ourselves and wonder whether we have made mistakes. You can feel guilty and lost, assuming that you have picked the wrong path in life. Now I have realised that life is just a continuing path that will keep going forward.

Growing up we are taught two completely different lessons. The first is always, listen to your heart, follow your gut, if it doesn't feel right don’t do it. As we get older we are then taught the opposite, think logically, what will others think? just push through it.

 We try to make decision based on what feels right but then we are often questioned by others. This leaves us wondering, what are we supposed to be doing? I think that emotions are important they show you when something matters, when we are scared, when we are grieving or when we are excited. They don’t always tell you whether a decision is right or wrong. They just show you how you feel in the moment. Those feelings are just a response to change, to letting go of something familiar. Or even reacting to what other people think you should be doing, instead of what you actually want for yourself.

I don't think that we should blindly listen and follow every emotion but I also don't think we should ignore them. The challenge isn't deciding whether to listen to your emotions, it’s learning to understand them. I have come to realise that making the right decision doesn't always feel good at first and sometimes your heart just needs to catch up with the life your mind wants.

Even when you are making a healthy decision, you can still grieve what your walking away from. You can still miss people you have outgrown, you can think of the version that no longer fits who you're becoming and none of that means you have made the wrong decision. It just means that you care and that it mattered. It means it was a part of your life for a reason, even if it wasn't meant to stay. I know from experience that it doesn’t always makes things easier. Familiarity is powerful and even when something wasn't good for you, your mind recognises it and can make you feel like it is safe, even when it's not. When you leave something behind your brain doesn't straight away reward you with peace. Our mind will question ourselves and will try to pull you backwards, not because you are wrong but because you are walking into the unknown.

Missing something don't mean that you are supposed to return to it. This can be confusing but multiple emotions can occur at once. You can feel relief and sadness in the same breath. To feel freedom and loneliness sitting side by side. To know something is right but still question it anyway.

The hardest decisions are never clear in the moment. You don’t wake up one day and suddenly feel completely sure. Clarity comes slowly and over time. You don’t need to rush yourself to decide whether you got it right or wrong. You can miss things and still move forward. You can grieve and still be doing what’s best for yourself. You are definitely able to feel unsure and still be going in the right direction. Emotional discomfort isn't about being lost. It is just the feeling of becoming someone new while still carrying parts of who you used to be. This takes time, more time than we usually give ourselves. One day you can realise that the decision you were so unsure about is no longer something you question every day. Not because it became perfect but because it became yours.

Sometimes the right decision doesn’t feel right at first, it slowly just becomes the life that stops asking you to go backwards.